I’m Not a Good Shopper

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Is it possible to somehow lock an online shopping site for those who are addicted? Maybe a complicated password that we won't be privy to? David and I are not shoppers, per se, as in entering brick-and-mortar establishments unless food and other necessities are involved. That is where my favorite online shopping site comes into play.

I am a sucker for free shipping. Many of the 'junk' magazines I've received over the years have finally given up on me for this reason: I find cute things I'd like to have, put them in the online cart, and stop in my tracks when I find out how much shipping is. Sometimes it's more than the object. The other thing that will halt my shopping spree is, if a company requires that I pay to send it back if it doesn't work, I don't like it, or it's cheaply made, etc. That is something that I absolutely, positively cannot do. So, I back out and return to my normal shopping with my 'prime' privileges.

Not to be ignored, the company will send an email imploring me to finish the transaction. To sweeten the deal, they'll offer a small discount to take some of the sting out. Unbeknownst to them, the only way I'd agree to do business with them is the promise of free shipping, both ways if need be.

This week alone David and I have purchased a fan he insisted he needed, a pencil sharpener that I hope will keep working more than a few weeks, a gift for our brother-inlaw's birthday, and a handheld gizmo I can use to get our loving but very loud Yorkie to stop barking at nothing! I hate messing with the bark collar we currently use.

David ordered the fan because he says I keep the house too hot (72º). I pointed out he is perfectly capable of adjusting the thermostat and turning on the ceiling fan by himself like a big boy. So now we have a freestanding cooling fan next to his chair. If he points it at me, we'll have a problem.

I ordered a heavy-duty special teacher's pencil sharpener. The ones I've purchased over the years work a few times and then wouldn't sharpen butter even though we rarely used them. This one is so big I doubt we'll have to empty the shavings anytime this year. I really need to start reading the product descriptions more closely. If this one doesn't do the trick, I'll give up. We could always go back to whittling the pencils with a sharp knife like dear old Dad used to do.